Since Dennis Spooner’s “The Time Meddler” we’ve had precious few
pseudo-historicals like this, that is stories set in the Earth’s past, yet with
a definite science fiction element other than the Doctor and companions
arriving via time machine. In fact, the only one that comes to mind is “The
Evil of the Daleks” and that didn’t do a great deal with Victorian Britain,
which was after all only one of the locations of the story.
I’m not entirely sure why. After all, one of the essential problems
with the pukka Historicals was that either they became pure adventure stories
where the past is merely used as a kind of wallpaper, like the late
Historicals, “The Smugglers” and “The Highlanders”, or you had the Doctor and companions
being essentially bystanders and observers, the audience to History, but not
participants within it. In a pseudo Historical you avoid this problem, since
it’s pretty clear that the Doctor must act in order to prevent the course of
History being diverted. Classic Who, though, continued to steer clear of this
kind of story for a long time after “The Time Meddler”. In that story you may
recall the Meddling Monk’s plan was to use 20th century weapons
technology to defeat Harald Hardrada before the battle of Stamford Bridge,
sparing Harold Godwinsson the effort, and ensuring him victory at Hastings.
Well, Hastings was a real, pivotal, Historical event. The next time that the
Doctor would actually be trying to prevent a real Historical event from being wiped
out of History wouldn’t be until season 20’s final story, “The King’s Demons”
where the Master plans to prevent the signing of Magna Carta.
Look, I can’t lie to you. I watched this one again last year on the
Horror Channel. I’m sorry, but I can’t be expected to sit there idly twiddling
my thumbs while they’re showing a classic, Robert Holmes – Jon Pertwee story. I
know what happens, I know what it’s like – I know the goodies that are within –
the debut of both the Sontarans and my favourite classic companion, Sarah Jane
Smith. Actually, I’ll be interested to see over the next couple of series
whether Sarah Jane manages to stay in that enviable position - Jacqueline Hill’s Barbara is a serious
contender for the crown too.
After Watching
The first thing that struck me about the new title
sequence was how unhappy and old Jon Pertwee appears on it, compared with the
smiley, short haired Pertwee whose ginning phizzog has welcomed us to every
episode previously. Maybe it’s a good job that this is a Robert Holmes story,
and a four parter to boot, to get him back into the swing of things.
The story opens in the late12th/ early 13th century. The
earliest action is centred on the castle of Irongron. Irongron is a bandit, who
is a bit like Robin Hood, in as much as he robs the rich, although he hasn’t
got around to giving it to the poor yet. Irongron is played by David Daker, a
very well known face on TV in the 70s and 80s. He was the baddy in Richard
O’Sullivan’s rather lacklustre “Dick Turpin”, and is possibly best remembered
as Harry Crawford in “Boon”. With his lived in face David Daker was never going
to be cast as shrinking violetty, sensitive types, and I doubt that his Hamlet
would ever have been much to write home about. Cast him as a thug like
Irongron, though, and he’d always do a throroughly good job for you. And in
this Robert Holmes script he has quite a bit of good stuff to work with.
Supplies are running low, when Irongron and his wingman
Bloodaxe see what looks like a shooting star. They ride out to where it came to
Earth, and find a small space capsule which contains a warrior in a metal
helmet. The Time Warrior, after claiming Earth for the Sontaran empire, enlists Irongron’s help, promising to give
him new fangled weapons which will help him overcome any of his enemies. And
all this in the first 6 minutes or so.
Using this time to set up the
situation with Irongron and Linx, the Sontaran, means that when we do cut
straight to UNIT we don’t need a long exposition scene telling us about
disappearing scientists – we work out what is happening, and put two and two
together to link it with Linx. It also gives a little more time to introduce
Sarah Jane Smith. Sarah Jane, played by the late beautiful and talented
Elisabeth Sladen, is a journalist, who is posing as her Aunt Lavinia, a famous
scientist, to investigate exactly what is going on. When another Scientist, one
Professor Rubeish, a scientist who is a prime example of the ‘dotty old fool’
variety thereof, disappears, the Doctor uses a doohickey to get a fix on where
he has gone. Sarah goes rooting about in the TARDIS, just before the Doctor
decides that it’s a case of tally-ho, the game’s afoot, and sets off after him.
Amazingly the TARDIS makes a near perfect landing.
At the end of episode 1 Linx raises
his helmet and we get our first sight of the head of a Sontaran. The Sontarans,
although not always used to the best advantage, would reappear another 3 times
in classic Doctor Who, in “The Sontaran Experiment”, “The Invasion of Time” and
“The Two Doctors”. One interesting fact is that their appearance changed,
slightly but noticeably each time they appeared – which doesn’t really matter
than much apart from the fact that they are supposed to be a cloned species
that are absolutely identical to each other. The Sontarans, although the last
of the great recurring monsters to appear in classic Doctor Who (by which I
mean the Daleks, Cybermen, Ice Warriors and Sontarans) they would actually
appear in the post 2005 series before the Ice Warriors were exhumed.
The action, then, remains in the
medieval milieu. Irongron wants ‘modern’ firearms so that he can attack and
defeat his near neighbour Edward of Wessex. Sarah Jane, after escaping from
Irongron’s clutches with the help of the Xeron leader from “The Space Museum”,
Jeremy Bullock, who plays Hal the Archer. It’s quite forgiving of him since
Sarah Jane distracts him when he is about to shoot Irongron, and thus ensures
that he is captured and his life is in danger. Thus when they reach the castle
of Edward, we find that in fact on the side of the
goodies we have Lord Beardy of Weirdy, Lady Dot of Cotton and Sir Boba of Fett.
June Brown is a terrific actress who has rightfully received plaudits for her long
lasting role in “Eastenders”, and while Lady Eleanor isn’t the meatiest role
she’ll ever have played she imbues her with a certain steeliness which mirrors
Sarah’s own , for it’s Sarah who persuades Edward to stage an attack on
Irongron.
Episode two sees the meeting between Linx and the Doctor
which reveals his plan. His capsule has some elementary time technology, which
enables him to seize scientists from the 20th century – that-s the
furthest range that the power source of his capsule will allow. The scientists
are then fitted with mind control devices, and used either to carry out the
necessary repairs on Linx’s capsule, or to fashion the firearms that Linx has
promised Irongron. The Doctor reveals, for the first time, that he is actually
from Gallifrey, prompting Linx’s famous observation that the Time Lords have
great power, but lack ‘the morale to withstand a determined assault’. And from
that throwaway line will come one of the less successful Tom Baker stories in
the shape of “The Invasion of Time”. That’s in all of our futures for now,
though. It’s been a while since we’ve come back to the issue of whether you can
change history or not. The only previous time in Jon Pertwee’s tenure was in
“Day of the Daleks”. The third Doctor’s reaction to Linx is completely
consistent with his reaction to the Monk in “The Time Meddler” – his meddling
with Earth history would be disastrous, and he will not allow it to happen.
In fact, the more I think about it the more the
comparison to “The Time Meddler” seems an apt one. There’s the obvious
connection with the setting – alright, there’s more than 100 years between
1066, and the dawn of the 14th century which is when this one is
set, but that’s really not a great difference in terms of the culture and
society of the times, certainly not as far as Hollywood or TV drama is
concerned anyway. Then rather more subtly, there’s the tone. Yes, there are
some nasty things that happen in this, or that nearly happen, I should say, but
overall the tone of both is of a historically based romp, with a vein of comedy
and fun running through it. Not that Linx is a comic character as the Monk is.
But in “The Time Warrior” the funny lines are spread out between several of the
characters, thus we get Irongron’s memorable description of the Doctor as ‘a
long-shanked rascal with a mighty nose’, and then when The Doctor tells
professor Rubeish that he is looking for Sarah, ‘I’m looking for a girl’,
Rubeish muses ‘I would have thought he was a bit old for all that.’
Now, a short digression, which will, hopefully, make
sense in the fullness of time. Superman, the archetypal superhero was created
in the early 30s by schoolboys Jerome Seigel and Joe Shuster, and eventually
sold to DC comics where he made his first appearance in Action Comics no. 1 in
1938. When he first appeared, Superman didn’t fly, and once of the claims made
about him was ‘nothing short of
a bursting (artillery) shell could pierce his skin’. Soon his super leaps
became flights, and the claim had been changed to ‘not even a bursting shell could pierce his skin’. Superman
soon became so super that it was totally unbelievable that anyone could ever so
much as inconvenience him, let alone defeat him. Which is why the writers of
the time came up with the concept of kryptonite. For those unfamiliar with it,
basically Superman was sent to earth from his home planet of Krypton by his
parents when he was a tiny baby, because Krypton was about to explode.
Kryptonite is pieces of the core of the exploded planet. At first there was just
kryptonite – which came to be known as green kryptonite, a short exposure to
which robbed Superman of his powers, and a long exposure to which would kill
him. In time this would be joined with other colours of kryptonite which would
have different effects.
Now, what this has to do with Doctor Who is that the
more powerful a monster, the more there needs to be a kryptonite, a weakness
which can be exploited to defeat them. With the cybermen, to pick one example,
their ‘kryptonite’ has been, at different times, radiation, gravity, acetone,
gold and so on. Now, in “The Time Warrior” Sontaran kryptonite comes in the
form of the probic vent. Remember, the Sontarans are a genetically engineered
species, and instead of the inefficient refuelling means we humans use, that
is, eating and drinking, they refuel through an orifice which is called the
probic vent. Now, the probic vent is really and truly the only part of a
Sontaran that is vulnerable- extremely vulnerable as it happens. So, bearing in
mind that they are a genetically engineered species, their designer must have
been having a really bad day when he decided to put the probic vent on the back
of their necks, where they can neither reach it, nor see any danger approaching
it. It’s the only real criticism that I have
of the Sontarans, that their kryptonite is so obvious. Linx isn’t
defeated because he is outthought, or out-technologied by the Doctor. He is
defeated because Hal the Archer gets one lucky shot at the probic vent. And
it’s a shame, since the Sontarans otherwise have a hell of a lot going for
them. In most ways they are more interesting and far more adaptable than, by
way of comparison, the Cybermen. Could you ever see a cyberman being used in
the same way as the revived series has used Dan Starkey’s Strax for comic
effect as a member of the Paternoster Gang? I rest my case.
All in all then, if we’re prepared to lavish praise on
Robert Homes – and I am – we must also apply criticism where it is due. So this
isn’t quite an all-time Holmes classic for me. But it is what it is, a very
enjoyable slice of late-Pertweeana, and there’s much to enjoy here.
What have we
learned?
Practically
everything important we’ll need to know about the Sontarans
Sarah-Jane Smith
is as gutsy and brave as Jo Grant, but more feisty too. She’s a keeper.
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